He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
