That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
