What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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