Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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