the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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