I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize