Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
