you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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