on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
