either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
