Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Randomize
