The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
