just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
