that's an acceptable place to lick
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
