this beer tastes like vomit already
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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