If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Help. Why am I so naked?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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