In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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