I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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