But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
