i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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