Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
