If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
