I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
