Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
