a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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