You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
