So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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