Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
