This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
