If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
We had sex on a dog bed..
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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