What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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