Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
