my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
