what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
