so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
