So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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