My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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