He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
