I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
