Quick, to the slutcave!
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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