hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
