I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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