Is it because I queefed?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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