I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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