Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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