Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I am mentally ready for anal.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
