Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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