You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
