her vagine was all disorganized.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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