I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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