So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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