He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i drank out of a bidet.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Randomize
