i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
