It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize