well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
