I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
