My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
