so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
