Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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