I think im going to throw up on grandma
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
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