Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
