dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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