Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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