I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize