I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
