Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
