I love black thongs
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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