He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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