Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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