i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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